Ryan
Adams
Rolling
Stone Australia (January 2004)
He answers the phone like a petulant teenager: another day, another
interview to sulk his way through. Two minutes later, he’s lost
his temper, raging about the press and his record company and the confederacy
of dunces railing against him. A minute after that he’s distracted
by the present his guitarist Johnny McNabb has bought for his girlfriend,
attention clearly wandering. And he ricochets from mood to mood for
the next twenty minutes, until he’s convinced himself –
quite wrongly – that ROLLING STONE hates his new album and this
is all one giant stitch up.
Ryan Adams is “only 29 years old”. He will repeat this simple
fact several times during our interview, offering it up as a catch-all
alibi when the questioning gets too hot for his liking. Considering
his twenties have been a runaway success, it’s a strange notion
to cling onto. After a stint leading the extremely cool alt-country
troupe Whiskeytown, Adams released two solo albums, “Heartbreaker”
and “Gold”, to rapturous critical acclaim. You’d think
he’d be facing 30 feeling pretty good about himself. But instead
he seems to be consumed by professional and personal crisis, as if his
life has suddenly become a huge disaster.
To be fair, Adams’ career has taken an unexpected turn of late.
As recently as last February, he was enthusing about a new album, “Love
Is Hell”, comparing its dark emotional tone to The Cure’s
“Disintegration”. He clearly believed this was going to
be his masterwork, the record he’d been striving towards for the
last five or so years. Unfortunately, his label, Lost Highway, weren’t
convinced of its quality and, in Adams’ words, “went cold”.
“It’s not what they said, it’s what they didn’t
say,” the singer fumes. “They didn’t immediately make
for any press dates. They did what any smart fucking powerful label
would do – they just didn’t do anything. It’s all
fucked up. I had a manager who became part of my record label and all
of sudden he was pandering to my label and I just ended up fucked. I
didn’t really care. I’m tired anyway.” It must be
heartbreaking to pour your heart and soul into an album only for it
to be rejected. “It is. Because I fucking think it’s really
good. I really like it. I really really really really like it, like
I’ve never liked music I’ve done ever before. And I intend
wholeheartedly to make even more music like it.”
“Love Is Hell” eventually came out as two EPs. A happy ending,
you’d imagine, but even that outcome left Adams screwed. “If
you want to know the dirty fucking secret that is my stupid label’s
trick: I’m a musician so I’m paid per album, well they found
a way to not pay me for any record but one. They’re saying ‘Demolition’
was a rarities compilation and not a real album so I never got paid
for that. ‘Gold’ was supposed to be a double album but they
took the last five songs and made it a bonus disc and put it on the
first hundred and fifty thousand copies. Fucking my fans over and making
them pay extra for a record I wanted to be a double album. They counted
that as one record. They won’t count ‘Love Is Hell’
now because they say it’s two EPs and not a proper record. I’m
on a six record contract and I’ve already handed in four other
albums that they haven’t released. They haven’t paid me
for anything and the only money I’m making is off playing live
shows.”
Frustrated by the impasse he’d reached with his label, Adams took
the only possible course available: he gave up music completely. “I
told them to fuck off and that I was going to sue them and that I quit.
Which I did. I did quit. I said ‘I’m not making records
until you figure out how to put out my past releases’.”
Adams couldn’t stay away from his guitar for long, though. Unbeknown
to his label, he paid for himself and drummer Johnny T Verington to
record a set of simple rock’n’roll songs, a million cathartic
miles away from the subtle heartbreak of “Love Is Hell”.
“I wanted to rock,” Adams explains. “I was tired of
being fucking sad all the time. I’ve been on anti-depressants
for three fucking years to try to sleep and deal with all this pressure
and bullshit because my life is spinning out of control because my business
life is not what I want it to be. My artistic life shouldn’t be
like this. And finally I got tired of it.”
So you just wanted to have some fun?
“Yeah, I’ve always been wanting to have some fun. Even when
I was fucking dick sad, I wanted to have fun.”
These recordings would eventually surface, with no little irony, as
Adams’ third official album on Lost Highway, titled “Rock’N’Roll”.
In many ways, it sounds like a raised middle finger to the suits who
wouldn’t put out “Love Is Hell” – Adams practically
saying “OK, you want a hit, here’s a whole bunch. Here’s
a Strokes song. Here’s an Oasis song. Here’s a Smiths song.
You wanted fucking hits. You got ‘em.” You could almost
see it as a barbed comment on the state of alternative rock’n’roll
in the early twenty first century.
Adams, barely containing his anger, thinks this interpretation of his
record is full of crap. “I think this album has tons of really
heartfelt shit on it,” he argues. “I don’t think ‘Wish
You Were Here’ is balls out or ‘Anybody Want To Take Me
Home’. It’s really not that different. I’m only 29
years old. It’s not like I’m an old man and I’ve picked
up an electric guitar. I’ve seen a lot of exaggerating about the
album where people are like ‘he’s totally changed’.
Dude, I’m not even who I’m going to be for the rest of my
life. Don’t people solidify who they are in their mid to late
thirties? I’m 29. I’ve just turned 29, like a week ago.”
Isn’t there an element of you paying tribute to your record collection?
The Strokes with “This Is It”, Oasis with “Shallow”,
Nirvana with “Note To Self: Don’t Die”, U2 with “So
Alive”, etc, etc.
“Obviously as a musician, I’m paying tribute to…not
really paying tribute, I’m influenced by my records. That’s
why we make records, because you’re influenced by records. I certainly
didn’t invent the craft myself. A couple of journalists have had
that angle and I was basically so tired that I was like, ‘yeah
sure. Whatever. Whatever you angle is. Let me help you make it so I
can get off the phone’. I’m too old for this shit.”
“Anybody Wants To Take Me Home” is almost a Smiths pastiche.
It fades in and out in exactly the same way as “Pretty Girls Make
Graves”.
“Yeah, that was me doing the Johnny Marr Smiths thing. You know
that’s how they used to do that with ‘The Headmaster Ritual’
and ‘Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others’. That was me nodding
to that. I like to tip my hat to the people I learn from.”
You seem to change your singing style from song to song as well. On
“Shallow”, you have Liam’s snarl pitch perfect.
“I don’t think I sound like Liam on that song,” Adams
protests. “I think I sound like me singing at the top of my lungs.
I understand the reference because I stole the T Rex lick and so did
they. And I’m also screaming in the song and so does Liam. So
that’s fair. But there are only so many tricks. Isn’t that
the whole joke about rock’n’roll? That there’s only
so many tricks? Before you get back to square one. I mean, it is what
it is. It is just a stupid rock record. No one’s gong to fucking
care in a year. No one’s even gong to care in three weeks. I’m
not a major contender. It doesn’t matter. Even more funny, I‘m
not going to fucking care.”
I start to ask about the heartfelt songs on “Rock’N’Roll”,
but Adams cuts me off. He doesn’t really seem to be listening.
“I’m just boxing you around the ring trying to find your
angle. I want to find out what you want to write and help you write
it. You don’t like my record, it’s cool. Because we can
go there too. I’ll totally accommodate you.”
“I just want to understand where you’re coming from,”
I reply but they’re wasted words. He’s too busy trying to
find somewhere to eat.
“[To his companions] I don’t know, the bar looks kind of
crazy inside doesn’t it? Alright I guess we can eat here. You’re
totally Captain Beefheart? What the fuck does that mean? What? Did you
guys smoke pot? [To me] Hello? Sorry, we’re trying to find a place
to eat. I’m being picky. OK, let’s eat here. It looks like
a diner but it also looks like a bar. Does anybody here not drink when
they eat? Jesus fucking Christ. Sorry, I’m going to have to do
a couple more then go to lunch.”
Parker (Posey, uber cool indie actress and Ryan’s girlfriend)
was executive producer on “Rock’N’Roll”. What
did she do in that role?
Adams to Posey, who’s right there with him: “Parker, what
did you do on the record as executive producer?”
Posey comes on the phone: “I danced and I inspired and I read
poetry and showed up with a smile on my face and got the boys to make
a record.”
“Did it work?” I ask. Too late. They’re not listening.
Posey to Adams: “Does he like the record?”
Adams: “I don’t know. I don’t think he does.”
Posey: “He might like you. He might just be provoking you.”
Adams: “I don’t know.”
Posey: “It’s not a big deal.”
Adams, back talking to me again: “It’s OK, we’re just
talking about you. We’re just interested in you, that’s
all. We’re interested people. We’re in Scotland and we’re
bored so we’re interested in everything we don’t know about.
OK, final question.”
I don’t see why you assume I don’t like the record.
“Because I fucking don’t like my own record, that’s
probably why.”
Sorry?
“Because I’m self defeating and I don’t like my own
record, so that’s probably why. I’m always looking for a
thing to not like it. But it’s not going to matter. In a year,
none of this shit’s going to matter. None of it. It doesn’t
even matter now. That’s the whole joke. It doesn’t fucking
matter. It doesn’t matter because I don’t matter and I don’t
want to matter. [To Posey and co] OK, look, you guys, there’s
an ambulance here, let’s not eat here. Look, that is a totally
good sign that we should not fucking…I’m not eating here.
You don’t eat in places where there’s an ambulance picking
people out of the place. Jesus fucking Christ. Can you believe we almost
ate there?”
They’re not stretchering someone out, are they?
“I told them that place didn’t look right. I have an ear
for bad restaurants. I may have eaten in many. [To McNabb] Johnny…hey
man look. A fucking ambulance pulled up and two medics go there to pull
somebody out of the place that you chose to eat in. So let’s go
eat at McDonalds or something safe. [To me] Hello? You want to ask Johnny
a question? Here he is. Cool.”
On comes Johnny.
“I got the phone pass off,” he laughs, like this happens
all the time. “I think Ryan’s looking at a pair of shoes.
We can’t wait to go to Australia. Sydney’s my second favourite
city after New York.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Eventually, Adams is coaxed back on the phone. He sounds more surly
and petulant than ever.
“I think I’m really terrible at this interview stuff, I
just suck. I don’t know. Whatever you want me to say.”
I just want you to tell me the truth.
“It’s been constant crap for so long,” he moans. “All
I ever wanted to do was make records, you know. We are going to eat
here? I think so, yeah. I think we’re going to eat here. I just
want to make records. I don’t want to have to explain myself any
more. I don’t even know. I’m never going to develop as a
person if I have to keep fighting to just make these stupid fucking
records. It’s so dumb. It isn’t that I’m a mean person
and I don’t mean to give you trouble on the phone but I hate doing
interviews. Why am I any more special than anybody else just because
I make I dumb record? If anything it should be a liability not an asset.
That fucking guy had to express himself on a fucking stupid rock album,
then obviously I’m missing something. That‘s the thing that
nobody gets. All these people being championed for being dickfaces.
Everybody champions rock people, like champion Jack White or champion
Van Halen. Champion a bunch of idiots who believe that it’ll actually
fill them up. Guys like Jack White and Van Halen they need it, they
need to be loved in order for them to feel good about themselves. I
don’t fucking even want it. I’m totally satisfied to make
stupid records and live inside these little moments of my own and not
have to know anybody. Because I don’t really care. I know it’s
bullshit. That’s the funny thing. It isn’t that people are
bullshit or that I’m bullshit, it’s just the whole rock
world. It’s excess or success or failure or record sales or people
liking it or even people disliking it, none of it matters. It’s
really about how happy I am to play guitar. And I’m absolutely
a hundred per cent satisfied to just play it at home.”
The irony, of course, is that Adams talks a lot of sense about rock’n’roll:
there are so many tricks; records can and will be forgotten in a year’s
time; the whole music world is bullshit; it really doesn’t matter.
He’s actually in a prime position to make an album that genuinely
deconstructs rock’n’roll, that puts into sharp perspective
the whole carnival of stupidity that plays out daily for our slack-jawed
entertainment. “Rock’N’Roll” would be a better
record if it embraced that idea. As it is, it’s just a bunch of
knowing rock songs bashed out in a moment of private rebellion. And
Adams is just another whining brat spoilt by too much privilege.
Do you think…
“I’m really hungry.”
Do you ever see a time when you wouldn’t make music commercially?
“Probably very soon because I’m not doing a very good job
of it.”
What would you do?
“I can see myself being a plumber. I like being a plumber. Something
about my personality and plumbing works. I like the maths side of it
and I like the artistic side of it. You really have to think your way
through all of that stuff. It makes sense to me as a person.”
Maybe you could just go on holiday.
“I don’t know. I’m the kind of person that has to
have something to do or I go a little crazy.”
And off he goes to have some macaroni
cheese and feel relieved that yet another interview is finally over.
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Ian Watson
Music,
film, comedy and travel journalist based in London
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